Stress in a box Dreamed 5168 days ago | | 520 words

It’s been a slow day. The quiet before the storm. That storm of course is moving. Moving to Manassas looms dangerously over my head. Traunting me at every opportunity and taking every chance to show the flaws in my plan as chinks in my immortal armor or self-confidence. Everything was all right. It was all going so well, then it fell right through the trapdoor into despair and uncertainty.

Never depend on anyone but yourself. That is a motto I need to learn to live by. I keep depending on other people to get me through and to have things work out. I can’t. Every time I do, all I get is disappointed.

This is where it’s gotten me so far, 5 days to be out of my apartment and I have no place to go. I might move back in with my dad. I might be able to swing a place up in Manassas for a month before I get put on the payroll full-time. I might end up in a cardboard box on the street corner for all I know.

When I need people the most, the ones I thought would be there have gone away, and the true friends stuck by me and continue to do so, despite my stress levels rising faster than mercury in lava.

True friends stick with you through anything, the ones that are just around for the good time and part-time are nowhere to be found. And that’s sad. I’m not famous. I’m not particularly spectacular in any way, shape or form. I’m not even all that interesting.

Yet, it seems as if I have people around me that are just looking to benefit from me. My work, my time, me. As a person. And ride my coattails to success. It’s not going to happen. No one gets a free ride at my expense.

This is the same reason I always hated "group assignments" in high school and college, because those of us who were willing to work hard and put in the time and effort gto stuck dragging those who did not along behind. Too many times others succeeded when they should have failed.

A success is a shared success if the entire team contributes. I am not even talking about "equal" contributions either. Equality is an ideal and a dream. There is no logistical way to achieve true equality. It’s just not possible. We are all different and have different skills, thoughts, feelings and backgrounds. There is no way to achieve the dreamed of equality. Just a general equality. Try to make things relatively equal.

Do not stick all the stress and work on one or two people’s shoulders if the group is four. If you do, you’ll quickly find those two succeeding and you being quickly left in the dust to flounder like a fish out of water.

I guess what I’m trying to say is…

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