Case of the Mondays Dreamed 4879 days ago | | 657 words

I have one. Bad…

I wake up this morning. Nothing too out of the ordinary happens.
I get to work.
The day flys by. vroom!

My first B&W printer starts saddle stitching and folding crookedly. I stop the run of books and run them on my second (identical) printer.

All is well.

I call for service on the first B&W.

I run the insert on the second B&W. It spits out one sheet, all grey and it’s dropped toner all over the place. (read: big black splotches)

So I try another print.

It makes a crunching grinding sound that I know can only mean one thing… ERROR… CALL TECHNICIAN FOR SERVICE.

Great! So I reboot it.

It starts up, grinds along and ERRORs again.

Awesome. That’s my second B&W print gone for the day. I call service, they won’t be here until tomorrow.

I keep up with my color run. It stops. Asking for more Magenta toner.
I dutifully run off to fetch some.

Having done that, I return with a box of Magenta, whereupon opening it, I find has gotten punctured and there is Magenta toner all over the inside of the box and toner.

Probably not a good thing to put into my machine.

I trash it. Grabbing the next box, I unbox it, place it into the machine, twist it into place… past the place… further it goes….

I pull it back out to inspect why it has not locked. It has become punctured or so I think.

The plastic cap keeping the toner INSIDE the tube has come off entirely. Spilling toner EVERYWHERE!

I pull the Magenta toner tube out and place it atop the printer on a trash bag. I clean up the mess. I inspect the home where it came from. Sure enough, there is my plastic piece.

I pull out the neighboring toners, yellow and cyan…

MAGENTA! Both ends are covered with Magenta.

This will make for some reddish looking prints I think to myself.

So I add those to my collection of toner atop the printer.

I leave black alone. I hope it’s still black. (I have not looked).

So, now I have three machines broken down in various ways.

The first tech arrives and I go to lunch, not having anything else I can do…

It’s 3pm. I head on over to the Post Office to place my Netflix envelopes in the box. I do and drive off.

Just then I realize that of the three envelopes I have in my back, I have one left. This one has my movie in it…

This means I have placed my envelope with my software backup and web site backup DVDs in the mail, going to Netflix.

I panic.

Then I head inside to spin my tale of woe to the (who I hope) will be sympathetic postal workers.

On my second person, I gain success. The nice girl there brings a cart and we go out front to the boxes. She opens the box and I pull out my envelopes and quickly locate the one I need.

I thank her profusely and head back to my car feeling thoroughly stupid.

Then I head down the road to get some lunch.

I think, “hmm Burger King, I have not eaten there in quite some time.” So I do.

I sit in the car, in the parking lot, listening to music for my lunch hour, playing with Linux on my laptop, and eating.

Then regretting it.

I’ve felt sick all afternoon/evening/night afterwards.

After work I went shopping to feed the guinea pig I am pigsitting. :-) Hay and pellets procured, I went to Target in search of pants and shirts.

Two of each procured.

Shirts fit great. Pants are too small. Because 1) I am one massive monkey. 2) People cannot make pants for tall fat men. Only short fat men or tall skinny men.

I finally got home.
Made dinner.

Still feeling sick, I am laying in bed, finishing this post.
And now, I shall drift off to sleep to CSI: Miami, or if that fails, Theh Red Green Show, featuring the Handyman’s Secret Weapon, Duct Tape!

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