Creative Exhaustion Dreamed 5309 days ago | | 314 words

So here I am sitting in the Mezzanine of the Department of Where I Work in the VA Government. Who would ever have thought I would be working for the government? I surely did not, though I am only working on a Windows XP computer rollout.
I have plenty of time in my day since the work is slow going with more people than we really need and not enough work to go around. This is not necessarily a bad thing, except I am losing my mind!
I need to remain busy. I need to have something to show for myself at the end of the day. Enough of this going to work, sittingon my ass and not doing anything. That was fine in college, where most of college was just that… going somewhere and sitting on my ass then going home.
But now I want to have something to do. I want something to show for myself at the end of the day. Some reason to wake up in the morning and actually leave my bed. Where I would much rather stay firmly planted, sleeping for about a million hours until I lose this constant state of exhaustion and uninspiration.
I want to be able to spend more time designing or at least trying to design. As of late, I can’t finish a single project. I want to, the motivation is there, but the time and energy are just not. When I get home, I am so tired I just want to take a nap, not do anything creative or worthwhile. And I am suffering because of it. I need to find some balance in my life again, because this sure as hell is not it. Maybe the traveling over the holidays will help. Maybe they won’t… I always get really depressed over the Xmas holiday. We’ll see what this year brings…

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